Wednesday, December 30, 2009


So this big yellow snorting monster came to the farm. Mom said it is the bull dozer and that it eats dirt and makes the earth move. I don't know what that has to do with sleeping bulls but whatever.

Well that thing has been eating and moving the dirt for two days! It even ate the dirt in our paddock prison. Mom said this would fix the mud but we have our doubts. Well he has been eating a place where Mom made us a small grassy space. NOW where will we go for grasses!? Hmmm? Where!? This could be a very serious pony problem! We got so upset at the prospect of never seeing grasses again that we started run run running in the pasture and snorting and bucking at the yellow bull dozer monster. The only good thing is that we have been returned to the pasture for two days.

Mom says that this bull dozer is making us a place to ride! And it will be nice and smooth and level and there will be rock dust too so we won't have to wait for the everlasting mud to go away for us to ride! We are very excited about this. Houston really wants to work on training his man and I really got to work on Mom. We are getting flabby and I have lost that wonderful figure I got at Trainer's place.

This was last week

This was this morning

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

I decide that I am doomed

The weather has been horrid so Mom and I haven't had many adventures. And now I'm all wooly and funny looking so no pictures.

We have had so much rain this acorn season. And now Hou and I are convinced that we are dying. Dying I tell you. I think I'll call the ASPCA. I have them on speed dial you know. We have been removed from the pasture. Mom claims that it won't be there in the spring if we are out in it any longer. Sure we have the paddock and as much hay as we can eat, but we're dying. Mom says we'll get lots of hand grazing but we don't believe her. So what if we'll eat the already drowned grasses to the dirt, we want the grasses!

And to add insult to injury, due to my flinging myself to the ground fad The Gail, Fixer of Bony Bits is coming tomorrow. BAH! I think I'll think of naughty things to do to the humans.

Friday, October 2, 2009

Ponies gone wild

So Farrier David was out of town so another farrier did our trims. I was not pleased. He did everything differently! Everything from the way he said "hello" to the way he held my foot. I decided that he was not worthy of my greatness so I snatched my feet away and wiggled alot. Houston was unimpressed too but he hates everything. He's such a grump.

Well Mom came out to the field with a lunge line. She said she just wanted to make sure we're sound. I stood like a gentleman and let her remove her jacket and tie it around her waist. Then I trotted out nicely. Then the cool breeze picked up and WOO HA I was off!! I went round in a slow gallop. Then I decided that the air was so nice I would do Airs. I did a Capriole, a Levade, and three Ballotades. Then I did four one tempis and three two tempis. At a gallop thank you very much! Then Mom had me go the other way. WOO HA here I go!! Don't want to go that way, Pirouette on one foot and go the other way! No, she drags me in till the circle got too small to gallop and turned me around again. And I'm OFF!!! Zoom Zoom Zoom! Then I actually started trotting and licking / chewing so Mom called me in and took the cavesson off. I followed her closely wondering what we were doing now. Oh she's putting it on Houston. I get closer to watch. Then mom pushes me away. No I'm pretty sure thats MY cavesson I need to stay close. So she taps me with the w-h-i-p and I ZOOOM up the hill. When I spin around again Houston is on the line trotting. OH we're lunging again!? COMING!!! I zoom down the hill and fall in next to Hou. He's trotting but I'm doing a collected canter with my tail in the air. Round we go. I'm bored so I throw a buck at Hou and go tearing off into the woods. I am hidden. The mystery horse. That's right you keep being goody goody four hooves. BOOM Ha Ha! I'm crashing out of the woods heading on a collision course with Hou. I swerve away and go tearing round the pasture. Then ZOOM! I come back nearly hitting him again. Then I go by again, tear up the hill like my tails on fire. When I slide to a stop and eat grass like nothing happened. OOH OOH I'm thirsty! ZOOOM to the trough, drink and look at Mom and Hou like "what?"

Happy Autumn!!!

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

A great weekend

So I had my Sixth Birthday bucket. It was SO GOOD!

And then Mom sat on me bareback while I grazed. That was fun.

Will write more later, it's dinner time

Thursday, August 27, 2009


So Houston has a puffy ankle. I don't care but apparently Mom does. So she comes out of the feed room with this gooey yummy treat that had molasses and oats and alfalfa cube bits. I knew it was for me. Of course it was for me! Right?! So I tried to eat it. Mom popped me on the nose! Can you believe it? It was for Houston! She said it had medicines in it for Houston's puffy ankle. Whose name do you think is on the molasses jar? Mine! That means all molasseses are mine. Not Houston's. So while he was eating MY molasses I walked under his neck. Right before my withers got to his jaw BAM I raised my head and CHOMP went his teeth! HA HA HA!!! That was so funny I asked Mom for some of MY molasses. She popped me on the nose again! And she said something about being nice to my brother or something. I don't know, I wasn't listening.

I did get to lick molasses off Mom's hand, but it just wasn't the same.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009


Here are some pictures from today. They're backwards.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

It's me. Houston

Max had some words written on his wall and directions to here. I had my man read them to me. This is me. Houston. I thought I'd introduce myself. I'm an 11 year old Foundation Quarter horse. (Max says what you are is important. That I should tell everybody.) I've had lots of jobs. I worked cows. I taught people to ride. I did dressage and took care of my disabled rider. I am a good horse. My new lady said I'll never be ridden in an English saddle again. That is good. I am not an English horse. Farrier David says I'm a "good old fashioned Quarter Horse". I like Farrier David. My feet don't hurt so much now so I don't have to bite him. I know biting people is bad, but I just hurt all the time and no one would fix it. My man and the lady knew what was wrong and Farrier David is fixing it. I love my man. The lady said once when I was for sale that I could pick my person. I didn't know that. Everyone had picked me up till then. I asked Max and the others and they told me how to do it. So I picked my man. He is a good man. He doesn't know Horse yet, but I can teach him. That is my new job. It is a good job. It took my man a while to get me. But now he's mine or I'm his. I haven't figured all this out yet. My man and the lady say that I'll never be sold again. I like that. So far they have done what they told me they would do.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

New Digs

Well we moved into our new home today. I discovered a new thing to hate. Trailers with ramps. Houston (goody four shoes) walked right on like he does this every day and then called me a sissy pony for making such a fuss. It was so horrible I got bad poops.

My new stall is super comfortable. The floor is soft but smells funny. So I peed on it. I couldn't believe that I actually had missed that stupid bird horse but it was great to see him again. We both got pedicures and Houston is spending his first night with a bare foot trim. He likes it so far but he still can't feel his feet yet so we'll see. He still has the founder and they said it is sinkers or something like that. But Farrier David said he should be able to take Mom's man riding in six moons *months* and go hit the trails by the next hotness *summer*. He said to tell you guys MY fans that he is excited to have his own man and he can't wait to teach him about horses. He's already less grumpy than he was and hasn't bitten anyone all day. I don't think he feels well. He's never gone this long without tasting people meat.

I got to teach Farrier David's friends why Lipizzans are better than all other horses. I think they were impressed. Houston says to tell you that they said he was beautiful and they were impressed that he's a foundation Quarter Horse. Whatever.

Anyway, PICTURES!!

Monday, June 29, 2009

What. are. you. THINKING!?

Ok. I give up. What are you thinking? Getting on my back requires that you actually ride. Not just sit there. Giving up and just becoming a lump on my back makes me confused. Don't tell me to trot. You are a potato so I walk. What do you mean canter? You are in no position for me to canter. You fell forward at canter so I had to levade to push you back into place. You've never ridden me this badly before. That and my standards are a bit higher now that I know more than you. Even Trainer said it was you being bad, not me.

Stupid Human.

And We didn't leave for the new place today. We leave tomorrow morning right after breakfast.

*Sorry buddy, I thought I was recovered from heat exhaustion but I guess I'm not. I did ride you very very poorly.*

Friday, June 26, 2009

Bird horse for a brother

Well, it's official. Mom bought that stupid bird horse Houston today. She even bought him a snazzy halter that matches mine! And apparently we move into our new digs on Monday. I am not pleased.

Friday, June 5, 2009

Still doing well

I'm still at Trainer's place. Mom says my farm will be ready for Bird Horse Houston and me at the end of the month. She won't be able to move in till later, but she says she'll be there all day every day working on the house, so we won't be starved or starved for attention. We'll see about that. I have my doubts.

About Trainer's place. I am the most talented, most beautiful, and most intelligent horse here. I know this because I'm surrounded by Cart Horses. All of them. And they're loony! My pasture mate is a little younger than me and bullies me. He bit my neck and my nose. Then there is the Little Black Mare. Sure she's a hottie (but let me tell you she's no Hannah) but I think she must have a screw loose. About a month ago I was TRYING to do my job and she's spinning like a horse crazed on the lunge line. I can do that RIGHT in my sleep! Then Mom got on me and Trainer Wife got on Little Black Mare. There were horses out and I looked at them a bit. LBM went crazy. Jumped sideways and tried to take off. I just rolled my eyes.

I've been practicing my turn on the forehand and being on the bit. I still have trouble with long and low but at least I'm no longer short and high. Mom is riding when she can, and WE CANTERED TOGETHER!! This was a very big deal. Mom was hurt by a horse years ago and only recently got over it, so it was important for me to get her going again. It's hard to train a human. At least Trainer yells at her for me. He's a great help. I don't think I could do it by myself. I tried to make her canter on my own but it only scared her. I don't know why she still gets tense, I have a great canter. Anyway, her balance is getting better and she doesn't panic as much. I was even able to take her on a trail ride today. She did really well and even sang my "Maximus the good boy" song. I got a BIG hug, shower and cookies for our ride today. We're doing pretty well, but we've lost a bit of our riding relationship because of all the junk last year but we're getting there. I still love my mom and today she said she "love love loves" me so I think we'll get it back.

I haven't told you, my fans, but Trainer says I'm the best Lipizzan he's seen. He says the only thing he'd change is that my legs are a bit short, but so are Mom's so I'm not worried about that. He says I'm a great mover and will be competitive against Cart Horses. Of course I'll be competitive, I'm an Imperial Horse!!

Friday, May 1, 2009


Well Mom was gone to Europe forever. So I've had no one to write for me. While she was gone, my human grandmother helped me start my OWN email account and send messages to Mom. I have been doing really well at Trainer's. I have learned alot. I even learned shoulder in and leg yield!

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

I got an award! There's rules but I am an Imperial horse. I make my own rules! I nominate myself. And myself. OH and me. I'm not full of myself I'm just the best horse ever. So there.

Oh and thanks Cactus Jack Splash for recognizing my wonderfulness.

"These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers. Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award."

BAH!! I AM self aggrandizing! But cute and lovable too.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

day 5

I had yesterday off. Today Mom showed up right after Trainer got on me. I was a very good boy. I didn't buck, but I did try to alternate sticking my nose in the air and then putting my chin on my chest. It didn't work. So I was good. Mom asked Trainer if I had potential. Trainer said "absolutely! And I think he's a good horse for you, but I haven't seen you ride yet." Well that made Mom nervous because I'm way more talented than she is. And she doesn't think she's that good of a rider. I think she's ok. Trainer is better balanced, but I like Mom alright.

What ticked me off today was that I had to go back to my stall after our workout. I've been going outside after to dry off in the sun. BAH!

Friday, March 20, 2009

trainer. day 3

Mom came today to witness my destruction. I made my best grumpy faces. It was horrible. I had to do what Trainer wanted, not what I, Maximus wanted. I had to walk, trot, and halt when asked. I had to turn when asked and go straight, not zigzag. I had to canter. The whole ring. Over and over. I tried zigging and zagging. I tried ducking the contact. I tried putting my nose in the air. I even bucked. Nothing worked. I HAD to do what she said. Mom said I looked better than I ever have. Trainer agreed with her that riding me is like riding a mare. A MARE! Could they insult me more?? OH and Trainer said that "he's got to learn that this isn't the Max show." Where has she been? This IS the Max show. But I got cookies and a shower so it wasn't too bad in the end.

Monday, March 16, 2009

It's over

My life is over. The time to go to Trainer has come. Mom came tonight and cleaned out the tack room. She said I would be ridden everyday and would have to work hard and learn alot. Curses! My days of toodling around are over. Apparently I leave in the morning. And after I'm done being tortured by Trainer I'm not coming back to the beautiful farm where I'm living. Mom said she's bought a farm and Houston (remember him? The bird horse?) will be my brother. If I were less of a gentleman I would curse. And I know how to curse. Doc the wise taught me some good ones. I am practicing my angry faces tonight just to snub the idiot humans.

Thursday, March 12, 2009


Well someone was asking Mom what makes a good conformation photo. And since I am an Imperial horse, only my pictures will do.

1: this one is OK. The bushes hide my beautiful forelegs.

2:This one is only OK because Mom had no help and put m front legs on a different surface.

3: This one is GOOD. This is the one that she sent to Schleese when we were figuring out what saddles we wanted to try. Please excuse my appearance and conformation. I was damp and in a growth spurt. Still the handsomest guy around though.

4: This one is BAD. I look like a draft cross.

5: This one is bad because I was sure Mom had carrots. Just sure of it. Had to go check it out. The pic makes me look like I have a pea head. Which I do not thank you very much.

Friday, March 6, 2009

Nope! Nuh uh, Don't wanna.

Well I helped Mom realize why the other people call it "the terrible fives". I decided the other day that trot in a 20 meter circle actually means trot till the center line, leg yield toward A and the canter with my nose in the air. When I reached the mirrors I slide to a stop say "hello" to that handsome guy in the mirror and then Mom thanks me for not killing her. I thought this was a grand game. I have been dropping hints that we are ready for canter, but Mom said we aren't so I had to show her that we actually are. She was not amused. So our instructor came today and said I had "bad habits" and "a lack of obedience". I'll have you know five year old Imperial horses proudly practice optional obedience. She didn't agree. Mom and I had a bit of a war. I wanted to leg yield, canter and slide to a stop. Mom wanted to trot in endless circles. BOOORRRINGGG! Anyway I did eventually concede defeat and trotted around in endless circles to her little hearts delight. I really made her work for it though. Mom had to take lots of walk breaks and whooo ponies did she huff and puff! Then those devilish humans made me do trot-walk-trot transitions all the way around the ring! I tried to leg yield to the center line and canter but noooo, trot-walk-trot was the result. So I tried to grab the bit. Mom got it back. Then I tried rooting, Mom won again. Then I tried curling my nose to my chest. Mom pushed me forward till I had to look where I was going. Bah. Bah I say! By the end of the lesson we were both sweaty beasts and dragging our toes back to the barn. I got a consolation carrot and went back out to my pasture. I had a great roll. Got both sides dirty! Then I had to rear and kick with my buddies.

What kind of tricks should I use tomorrow?

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

This is my new duds. Since the picture I saw the Schleese lady again and she said I had a little bit of withers now! She actually had to narrow it a bit. Because of my growth spurt I also got an oversized browband and a 6" bit. I'm now sporting a Dee ring. I really like it. That pad you see is a rubber one because my saddle wouldn't stay put at first. I don't have to wear it anymore.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009


Well I got to see my new saddle today. Mom said it came last night when it was too late to bring it to the barn. It is really pretty. In the second picture you can also see my big fat girth in front of the saddle.

Well I was naughty when Mom was getting me tacked up, so she took me to the lunge ring. Well it was the first warm day in forever and so I had to buck, careen, rear, and swerve toward Mom. Had to. So Mom reminded me that she is boss mare and that I belong below her in the herd. Sorry Mom, I forgot.

When I was done being silly, Mom and Aunt Diane took me to the indoor. Since my saddle was a bit wiggly in the lunge Aunt Diane brought out a special pad that would help it stay on. I was the best boy. I got ALL the "good boy"s. We walked alot and we went sideways. On purpose! I could really feel Mom and she could tell me where to go using just her weight. I felt a pull to the left, so I went left (or right). Then we started trotting. I wasn't too sure that we could trot in this new saddle, but I did it. It was so great not to be pinched by a saddle. I could give to the bit and even stretch down without it hurting. Which got me lots of "good boy"s. I was so good that Mom even rode on a long rein and stretched us and I could feel her melt into my back. It was very good. When Mom got off me she gave me a big scratch and loosened my girth. You horses out there should really train your humans to do this. Its the best reward ever. You can really relax and breathe when your girth is loosened. When we got back, Mom pulled all my tack off, brushed my saddle mark and gave me a big fat carrot. I even let her hug me.

Monday, January 26, 2009

saddle number three

Ok so back in October, Mom finally listened to me and realized my new saddle didn't fit. So this lady came a long long way to fit me with a custom saddle. She even fit Mom! Well it is coming today. Mom hasn't ridden me in five whole months because of a million reasons, and we're very excited. Mom says the fedex is evil and came to her stall just to turn around! Now she's imagining that she hears trucks and knocks at the door while she waits. I'm excited because I miss riding with Mom on me.

To hold us over, here's a picture of our new saddle..

So Mom said to tell you guys that we have two saddles, two girths, and one pair of stirrups to sell. The first one is an 18" wintec 500 (comes with leathers) and the other is a 17.5" long flap Barnsby N-Gage (comes with stirrups, leathers, and a bucking strap.). The girths are a fuzzy 22" and a neoprene 24". If you want one then call the tack shop Horsepower at 678-423-3699