Tuesday, March 31, 2009

I got an award! There's rules but I am an Imperial horse. I make my own rules! I nominate myself. And myself. OH and me. I'm not full of myself I'm just the best horse ever. So there.

Oh and thanks Cactus Jack Splash for recognizing my wonderfulness.

"These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers. Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award."

BAH!! I AM self aggrandizing! But cute and lovable too.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

day 5

I had yesterday off. Today Mom showed up right after Trainer got on me. I was a very good boy. I didn't buck, but I did try to alternate sticking my nose in the air and then putting my chin on my chest. It didn't work. So I was good. Mom asked Trainer if I had potential. Trainer said "absolutely! And I think he's a good horse for you, but I haven't seen you ride yet." Well that made Mom nervous because I'm way more talented than she is. And she doesn't think she's that good of a rider. I think she's ok. Trainer is better balanced, but I like Mom alright.

What ticked me off today was that I had to go back to my stall after our workout. I've been going outside after to dry off in the sun. BAH!

Friday, March 20, 2009

trainer. day 3

Mom came today to witness my destruction. I made my best grumpy faces. It was horrible. I had to do what Trainer wanted, not what I, Maximus wanted. I had to walk, trot, and halt when asked. I had to turn when asked and go straight, not zigzag. I had to canter. The whole ring. Over and over. I tried zigging and zagging. I tried ducking the contact. I tried putting my nose in the air. I even bucked. Nothing worked. I HAD to do what she said. Mom said I looked better than I ever have. Trainer agreed with her that riding me is like riding a mare. A MARE! Could they insult me more?? OH and Trainer said that "he's got to learn that this isn't the Max show." Where has she been? This IS the Max show. But I got cookies and a shower so it wasn't too bad in the end.

Monday, March 16, 2009

It's over

My life is over. The time to go to Trainer has come. Mom came tonight and cleaned out the tack room. She said I would be ridden everyday and would have to work hard and learn alot. Curses! My days of toodling around are over. Apparently I leave in the morning. And after I'm done being tortured by Trainer I'm not coming back to the beautiful farm where I'm living. Mom said she's bought a farm and Houston (remember him? The bird horse?) will be my brother. If I were less of a gentleman I would curse. And I know how to curse. Doc the wise taught me some good ones. I am practicing my angry faces tonight just to snub the idiot humans.

Thursday, March 12, 2009


Well someone was asking Mom what makes a good conformation photo. And since I am an Imperial horse, only my pictures will do.

1: this one is OK. The bushes hide my beautiful forelegs.

2:This one is only OK because Mom had no help and put m front legs on a different surface.

3: This one is GOOD. This is the one that she sent to Schleese when we were figuring out what saddles we wanted to try. Please excuse my appearance and conformation. I was damp and in a growth spurt. Still the handsomest guy around though.

4: This one is BAD. I look like a draft cross.

5: This one is bad because I was sure Mom had carrots. Just sure of it. Had to go check it out. The pic makes me look like I have a pea head. Which I do not thank you very much.

Friday, March 6, 2009

Nope! Nuh uh, Don't wanna.

Well I helped Mom realize why the other people call it "the terrible fives". I decided the other day that trot in a 20 meter circle actually means trot till the center line, leg yield toward A and the canter with my nose in the air. When I reached the mirrors I slide to a stop say "hello" to that handsome guy in the mirror and then Mom thanks me for not killing her. I thought this was a grand game. I have been dropping hints that we are ready for canter, but Mom said we aren't so I had to show her that we actually are. She was not amused. So our instructor came today and said I had "bad habits" and "a lack of obedience". I'll have you know five year old Imperial horses proudly practice optional obedience. She didn't agree. Mom and I had a bit of a war. I wanted to leg yield, canter and slide to a stop. Mom wanted to trot in endless circles. BOOORRRINGGG! Anyway I did eventually concede defeat and trotted around in endless circles to her little hearts delight. I really made her work for it though. Mom had to take lots of walk breaks and whooo ponies did she huff and puff! Then those devilish humans made me do trot-walk-trot transitions all the way around the ring! I tried to leg yield to the center line and canter but noooo, trot-walk-trot was the result. So I tried to grab the bit. Mom got it back. Then I tried rooting, Mom won again. Then I tried curling my nose to my chest. Mom pushed me forward till I had to look where I was going. Bah. Bah I say! By the end of the lesson we were both sweaty beasts and dragging our toes back to the barn. I got a consolation carrot and went back out to my pasture. I had a great roll. Got both sides dirty! Then I had to rear and kick with my buddies.

What kind of tricks should I use tomorrow?