Friday, July 6, 2012


It is with great sorrow that I dictate this post. I am convinced that Mom doesn't love me anymore. It all began last year. We spent a year riding bareback and I never bucked once. We went through a big to-do and found me a new Wonder Pony Wonder Saddle. I grew to 15 hands. Then one day in June Mom quit riding. She quit mucking, leaving it to Houston's man. She would only feed me and pat my nose. She even smelled funny. Then her belly got bigger and bigger. Then the coldness arrived. The man doesn't do things right. He blankets me in the wrong order and just does it all wrong. Besides, he isn't mine, she is mine. During the coldness her belly got so big that she started walking slow. I tried to admonish her for eating too many oats but Hou said he'd seen this sort of thing before and that Mom was in foal. Really? A human foal? I love human foals! At the end of the coldness when the itchy time began Mom vanished for a whole month! We only saw the man. Then Mom came back. Her energy was all weird and she had a tiny, wrinkly human filly. Mom says her name is Phoebe and that we're keeping her. She didn't look like the sort of human foal I was used to. Once I licked her head and she didn't even squeak. She doesn't have apples either. And Mom is completely in love with her. And the man is too. Mom even thought about selling me. I got really really scared but Hou's man talked her out of it. So Mom gave me a firm talking to. I can never ever buck her off again. Hello! That is ancient pony history! I barely remember it! Well she finally rode me in my new saddle. It was great. We just walked around and I was the best boy. She rode me again and even though I was feeling squirrely I was very very good. But something is different. She doesn't spend hours grooming me and bathing me. And though she's starting to do chores again, the filly is always with her. Farrier David came to trim my royal toes today and she had him bring me in. She had the filly strapped to her front and said "that new feed has made his brain evaporate. I don't want him too near the baby." I admit that since my feed changed I'm seeing gremlins, but she didn't even come pet me till Farrier David had me settled in the cross ties. Used to be that she would get to the barn early and have me all clean for the farrier. And he did my feet in the wrong order! He started on the right front. Hello! you are always supposed to start on the LEFT front! That is my rule!And when he was done she insulted me further by giving Houston the grasses!!

I'll just be over here. By myself.  

Wednesday, November 24, 2010


Mom and Mom's Man went to the Florida to see Ukon and Aunt Zane. She said they had a great trip and that both Aunt Zane and Ukon are happy there. She said Ukon has grown!!! He's now 18.1 hands and around 1500 lbs. Well, I will have him know that I have been growing too. I'm now a whopping 14.3 and 1000 lbs. So there! Mom said that he lives in a beautiful barn. Well anything is nicer than our Horse Hovel. She also said that he has gathered quite the array of show ribbons with Trainer. So? Can you eat them? No. You cannot. So I am not impressed. Mom also told me that he is a good boy who doesn't try to kill his rider for minor infractions. And? He's a CARTHORSE. He doesn't have the same expectations that I, an Imperial Horse, have.

Anyway, here's some pictures.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010


I am a very happy Wonder Pony!! Mom rode me!!! And here I thought she didn't love me anymore. I had tried to comfort myself. I even tried to braid my own mane, but it ended up in snarls. WELL tonight Mom came down to the barn and started currying and grooming me. She got the snarls out of my mane and chided me for trying to braid it myself. Then she came out of the tack room with my bareback pad and bridle!! Oh Happy Pony Day! Well Mom put my pad and bridle on. But something was different. My bit was gone! I tried to put the chin strap in my mouth but Mom took it out and buckled it. But you forgot my bit!
Then we went to the ring and Mom got me on my circle. She may have said "trot trot" but I heard "WOO HA!" and went buck buck buck boing boing boing. I eventually settled down though. Well Mom then took me to the mounting block. I was so eager to go I stood still even though a horse fly was chewing on my butt. After killing the fly Mom got on and we toodled around at the walk. I will have you know I was perfect. I lifted my back and carried her and I even went long and low. I got all the "good boy"s and a hug AND all the cookies. Mom didn't even need to tie me! Not even for my shower. I was so proud of myself! Mom was very good too. She didn't clench her butt or pinch me breathless with her knees. She just rolled with me. She didn't even have to grab my mane! (This a big deal for her. We're both rather round so we aren't the most stable pair. Mom says my back is like a sofa. Big and cushy.)

Thursday, September 9, 2010


Harrumph I say! So long ago I let Mom put a link on my blog to Con-Mar the Lipizzan (who lets his human do the talking). Well he is a stallion who is a year younger than me. I just found out that Mom read his blog and learned that not only is he not trying to kill his human, he is even doing third level work! He's started working with the double bridle!

Con-Mar. You make me look bad! Here's what I propose...

Start playing dirty. You can outsmart your human. I did. Make your human think that you must be treated as though you're made of glass. Also convince her that you could go ballistic at any moment. That way all you have to do is roll your eyes a bit and totally get out of doing any work. Save all that fancy canter halfpass, collection, and half steps for the pasture. Which, I guarantee, you will see more of. It's easy to do. Take up bucking. If you can do a canterbuck flying lead change then that seems to go a long way. Add to that my favorite trick. Inverted tippy toes. Think of placing your ears on your croup and walking around stiff legged. If you can do this WHILE rolling your eyes and snorting then you're approaching MY level of talent. She'll be so busy trying to undo your evasion that you can easily put your nose between you knees and do a Flying canterbuck. If you really want to do fancy moves, keep them under your saddle pad and save them for evasions. Trot? NOPE! Piaffe!! Canter? HAH! Canter Half Pass!! Halt? Thprtt! LEVADE! You get the idea.

Wait. WHAT?!!! Mom wishes she could send me to your human. BAH!! Bah I say! I'll show YOU lack of work ethic! I work my haunches off! I strive to stay unridable for as long as possible! THAT is work!

What? What do you mean the stallions of the SRS willingly and happily do everything their humans want? What is WRONG with you guys?!!

That's it. I'm pouting.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

I'm Seven By the Way

I got so wrapped up in the clinic-from-hell saga that I forgot all about my birthday! Mom remembered it (August 25) and she made me my birthday bucket. I had apple cinnamon granola bars, apple juice, THREE peppermints and alfalfa cubes. It was So Good!! Hou had one too and from what I hear we'll be celebrating Hou's birthday in January. YAY birthday buckets twice a year!

Wow it's been a WHILE!!

This summer has been BOOORING! It began good enough. We were riding every day. Mom went to a clinic and decided to "put on her big girl panties and canter". Whatever those are. Anyway we cantered! At home! By ourselves! So Mom signed us up for a clinic in June. We were late getting ready. Mom did everything wrong! She tacked me up in the stall instead of the crossties, and she decided it was too too hot to longe so we went right to it. I was mostly stupid. I was an inverted tippy toed fire breathing dragon. This Imperial Horse had been taken away from his nice quiet farm, ruthlessly driven away in a deathbox *trailer* and then plopped down at the farm where we used to live. I was then ripped away from my paddock with Hou in it and tacked up in a stall. A stall! I was NOT amused. So I inverted tippy toed all round the ring. We then had to trot endlessly so I decided to exit stage left and made a bee line (well it would have been a bee line had Mom not been trying to make me go back to the ring) for the door. Well then while we were trotting endlessly I got hot and I got tired. I then heard the trainer tell us to do some cantering. I put my ears back. I know enough human talk to know what "canter" means. Well Mom asked for it. And I said "NO!" by cow kicking and leaving the ring. By now Mom is riding rather stiffly and defensively and really ticking me off. Well she asked again! So I cantered two strides and gave her the three biggest bucks ever. On the last one I twisted and launched her into the air. She did a somersault and landed on her back breaking her helmet. I wasn't feeling too hot either. Well Mom got a concussion and I sprained my hip. So I've been busy getting fat fat fat and looking cute and Mom is healed but is recovering from a sprained elbow that she got the day before the clinic.

Well it's been too hot to ride so Hou has been getting fat and looking cute along with me. Since it's starting to cool off Mom decided to put Hou on the longe to get him back to thinking about work. Well he blew an absess. So no riding for any of us!

But the good news is that Capriole weather is coming WOO HOO!!

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Good things!

Well we the ponies are still shedding but Mom scrapes us regularly so we don't itch itch itch so bad. The weather has gotten warm and all the trees and grasses have woke up. We have gotten to go back on the pasture!! This is very good. We have really missed our pasture.

Mom and Mom's Man moved into the human barn on the farm in March. Mom is so happy that she doesn't have to take the car to see us. We like that we get fed in a more timely manner.

Our ring is still being built. The clay is nice and level and the telephone pole has finally been moved. Mom and I have been riding every day for a month or so. We are doing really well too. I haven't done anything stupid since the cow incident and Mom hasn't been panicking. We go round and round the ring doing walk, trot and laterals. I'm working on my leg yielding and learning shoulder in and haunches in. I'm pretty good at haunches in but shoulder in is a mystery to me. We haven't cantered yet, but we have been working on extended trot and yesterday we did a really fast trot. Mom did pretty well, she did get nervous when I got excited to canter so we walked after that. Hopefully we'll canter soon.

Houston's feet are almost normal. He's been taking his man for rides for months now. He's even started teaching his man trot! He and Mom's Man really like their saddle. Mom rode Hou in it and said it's the biggest thing ever. Houston has started singing again. I don't think I've told you but Hou sings little songs. It sounds like grunting but with notes and rhythm. He has different songs for different things. He has a song for Mom, a song for Mom's Man and a song to let Mom's Man know he's doing something right. Mom's Man was trying to make Hou do a leg yeild. When he asked wrong, Hou went in a circle. When he asked right Hou went sideways and sang. Mom thinks it's really cute and it makes Mom's Man laugh and laugh.

Imperial horses do not sing. We let you know we're pleased by not launching you into the air.