Thursday, September 9, 2010

HARRUMPH!!

Harrumph I say! So long ago I let Mom put a link on my blog to Con-Mar the Lipizzan (who lets his human do the talking). Well he is a stallion who is a year younger than me. I just found out that Mom read his blog and learned that not only is he not trying to kill his human, he is even doing third level work! He's started working with the double bridle!

Con-Mar. You make me look bad! Here's what I propose...

Start playing dirty. You can outsmart your human. I did. Make your human think that you must be treated as though you're made of glass. Also convince her that you could go ballistic at any moment. That way all you have to do is roll your eyes a bit and totally get out of doing any work. Save all that fancy canter halfpass, collection, and half steps for the pasture. Which, I guarantee, you will see more of. It's easy to do. Take up bucking. If you can do a canterbuck flying lead change then that seems to go a long way. Add to that my favorite trick. Inverted tippy toes. Think of placing your ears on your croup and walking around stiff legged. If you can do this WHILE rolling your eyes and snorting then you're approaching MY level of talent. She'll be so busy trying to undo your evasion that you can easily put your nose between you knees and do a Flying canterbuck. If you really want to do fancy moves, keep them under your saddle pad and save them for evasions. Trot? NOPE! Piaffe!! Canter? HAH! Canter Half Pass!! Halt? Thprtt! LEVADE! You get the idea.

Wait. WHAT?!!! Mom wishes she could send me to your human. BAH!! Bah I say! I'll show YOU lack of work ethic! I work my haunches off! I strive to stay unridable for as long as possible! THAT is work!

What? What do you mean the stallions of the SRS willingly and happily do everything their humans want? What is WRONG with you guys?!!

That's it. I'm pouting.