Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Max on Monsters
Why do I hate birds? Well because they're flesh eating flying monsters is why! they jump up behind you and if you're not quick on your hooves they'll land on your back and suck your blood. I'm sure of it.
other horse eating monsters..
the outdoor dressage ring. Those bushes and gazebo will jump out at you!
My saddle. If you don't scoot around and act like a twit it will land on your back and then you'll have to work. also remember to blow your belly out real big to keep the saddle from having a death grip on your breathy bits.
when my saddle is loose. that sneaky thing, once I start breathing again it wants to go and slide around! MOOOOM!
for a while the indoor wash stall. I was convinced that horses die of exposure to this mysterious thing every day. I'm still alive though, so maybe it's not so bad.
water in my face. I will drown. that water snake is vicious!
Clippers. clippers kill. I heard that this one horse was standing in his stall innocently eating hay and this pair of clippers snuck up on him and sucked ALL his blood. Honest! One time a pair of clippers attacked me and ate most of my muzzle whiskers. I barely escaped with my life.
the laser beams in the indoor arena. there are these bright laser beams of DEATH that sometimes come in the indoor. you have to watch them closely and walk around them. if you step over them they will cut your legs off.