Ukon

Mom and Mom's Man went to the Florida to see Ukon and Aunt Zane. She said they had a great trip and that both Aunt Zane and Ukon are happy there. She said Ukon has grown!!! He's now 18.1 hands and around 1500 lbs. Well, I will have him know that I have been growing too. I'm now a whopping 14.3 and 1000 lbs. So there! Mom said that he lives in a beautiful barn. Well anything is nicer than our Horse Hovel. She also said that he has gathered quite the array of show ribbons with Trainer. So? Can you eat them? No. You cannot. So I am not impressed. Mom also told me that he is a good boy who doesn't try to kill his rider for minor infractions. And? He's a CARTHORSE. He doesn't have the same expectations that I, an Imperial Horse, have.

Anyway, here's some pictures.

WOOT WOOT!!

I am a very happy Wonder Pony!! Mom rode me!!! And here I thought she didn't love me anymore. I had tried to comfort myself. I even tried to braid my own mane, but it ended up in snarls. WELL tonight Mom came down to the barn and started currying and grooming me. She got the snarls out of my mane and chided me for trying to braid it myself. Then she came out of the tack room with my bareback pad and bridle!! Oh Happy Pony Day! Well Mom put my pad and bridle on. But something was different. My bit was gone! I tried to put the chin strap in my mouth but Mom took it out and buckled it. But you forgot my bit!
Then we went to the ring and Mom got me on my circle. She may have said "trot trot" but I heard "WOO HA!" and went buck buck buck boing boing boing. I eventually settled down though. Well Mom then took me to the mounting block. I was so eager to go I stood still even though a horse fly was chewing on my butt. After killing the fly Mom got on and we toodled around at the walk. I will have you know I was perfect. I lifted my back and carried her and I even went long and low. I got all the "good boy"s and a hug AND all the cookies. Mom didn't even need to tie me! Not even for my shower. I was so proud of myself! Mom was very good too. She didn't clench her butt or pinch me breathless with her knees. She just rolled with me. She didn't even have to grab my mane! (This a big deal for her. We're both rather round so we aren't the most stable pair. Mom says my back is like a sofa. Big and cushy.)

HARRUMPH!!

Harrumph I say! So long ago I let Mom put a link on my blog to Con-Mar the Lipizzan (who lets his human do the talking). Well he is a stallion who is a year younger than me. I just found out that Mom read his blog and learned that not only is he not trying to kill his human, he is even doing third level work! He's started working with the double bridle!

Con-Mar. You make me look bad! Here's what I propose...

Start playing dirty. You can outsmart your human. I did. Make your human think that you must be treated as though you're made of glass. Also convince her that you could go ballistic at any moment. That way all you have to do is roll your eyes a bit and totally get out of doing any work. Save all that fancy canter halfpass, collection, and half steps for the pasture. Which, I guarantee, you will see more of. It's easy to do. Take up bucking. If you can do a canterbuck flying lead change then that seems to go a long way. Add to that my favorite trick. Inverted tippy toes. Think of placing your ears on your croup and walking around stiff legged. If you can do this WHILE rolling your eyes and snorting then you're approaching MY level of talent. She'll be so busy trying to undo your evasion that you can easily put your nose between you knees and do a Flying canterbuck. If you really want to do fancy moves, keep them under your saddle pad and save them for evasions. Trot? NOPE! Piaffe!! Canter? HAH! Canter Half Pass!! Halt? Thprtt! LEVADE! You get the idea.

Wait. WHAT?!!! Mom wishes she could send me to your human. BAH!! Bah I say! I'll show YOU lack of work ethic! I work my haunches off! I strive to stay unridable for as long as possible! THAT is work!

What? What do you mean the stallions of the SRS willingly and happily do everything their humans want? What is WRONG with you guys?!!

That's it. I'm pouting.

I'm Seven By the Way

I got so wrapped up in the clinic-from-hell saga that I forgot all about my birthday! Mom remembered it (August 25) and she made me my birthday bucket. I had apple cinnamon granola bars, apple juice, THREE peppermints and alfalfa cubes. It was So Good!! Hou had one too and from what I hear we'll be celebrating Hou's birthday in January. YAY birthday buckets twice a year!

Wow it's been a WHILE!!

This summer has been BOOORING! It began good enough. We were riding every day. Mom went to a clinic and decided to "put on her big girl panties and canter". Whatever those are. Anyway we cantered! At home! By ourselves! So Mom signed us up for a clinic in June. We were late getting ready. Mom did everything wrong! She tacked me up in the stall instead of the crossties, and she decided it was too too hot to longe so we went right to it. I was mostly stupid. I was an inverted tippy toed fire breathing dragon. This Imperial Horse had been taken away from his nice quiet farm, ruthlessly driven away in a deathbox *trailer* and then plopped down at the farm where we used to live. I was then ripped away from my paddock with Hou in it and tacked up in a stall. A stall! I was NOT amused. So I inverted tippy toed all round the ring. We then had to trot endlessly so I decided to exit stage left and made a bee line (well it would have been a bee line had Mom not been trying to make me go back to the ring) for the door. Well then while we were trotting endlessly I got hot and I got tired. I then heard the trainer tell us to do some cantering. I put my ears back. I know enough human talk to know what "canter" means. Well Mom asked for it. And I said "NO!" by cow kicking and leaving the ring. By now Mom is riding rather stiffly and defensively and really ticking me off. Well she asked again! So I cantered two strides and gave her the three biggest bucks ever. On the last one I twisted and launched her into the air. She did a somersault and landed on her back breaking her helmet. I wasn't feeling too hot either. Well Mom got a concussion and I sprained my hip. So I've been busy getting fat fat fat and looking cute and Mom is healed but is recovering from a sprained elbow that she got the day before the clinic.

Well it's been too hot to ride so Hou has been getting fat and looking cute along with me. Since it's starting to cool off Mom decided to put Hou on the longe to get him back to thinking about work. Well he blew an absess. So no riding for any of us!

But the good news is that Capriole weather is coming WOO HOO!!

Good things!

Well we the ponies are still shedding but Mom scrapes us regularly so we don't itch itch itch so bad. The weather has gotten warm and all the trees and grasses have woke up. We have gotten to go back on the pasture!! This is very good. We have really missed our pasture.

Mom and Mom's Man moved into the human barn on the farm in March. Mom is so happy that she doesn't have to take the car to see us. We like that we get fed in a more timely manner.

Our ring is still being built. The clay is nice and level and the telephone pole has finally been moved. Mom and I have been riding every day for a month or so. We are doing really well too. I haven't done anything stupid since the cow incident and Mom hasn't been panicking. We go round and round the ring doing walk, trot and laterals. I'm working on my leg yielding and learning shoulder in and haunches in. I'm pretty good at haunches in but shoulder in is a mystery to me. We haven't cantered yet, but we have been working on extended trot and yesterday we did a really fast trot. Mom did pretty well, she did get nervous when I got excited to canter so we walked after that. Hopefully we'll canter soon.

Houston's feet are almost normal. He's been taking his man for rides for months now. He's even started teaching his man trot! He and Mom's Man really like their saddle. Mom rode Hou in it and said it's the biggest thing ever. Houston has started singing again. I don't think I've told you but Hou sings little songs. It sounds like grunting but with notes and rhythm. He has different songs for different things. He has a song for Mom, a song for Mom's Man and a song to let Mom's Man know he's doing something right. Mom's Man was trying to make Hou do a leg yeild. When he asked wrong, Hou went in a circle. When he asked right Hou went sideways and sang. Mom thinks it's really cute and it makes Mom's Man laugh and laugh.

Imperial horses do not sing. We let you know we're pleased by not launching you into the air.

More coldness.

This is how cold it was. It was so cold it snowed. Again!



This was terrible. I was cold! Imperial horses object to being uncomfortable in any way. And I was uncomfortable!

And yes, we had lots of hay.



But I knew more was in the barn so I had to beg. I am not satisfied! I need more hay!

growing, blood sucking monsters and apologies

Well I have grown an inch. I am now 14.3 hands. I'm considering going for 15. Mom thought I was getting skinny but I weigh more now than I did when I moved here. BUT It has gotten me more oats so I won't complain. You can never have enough food, really. I get all the hay I can eat and now lots more oats.

But we are shedding now. We itch itch itch and it makes us grumpy. Houston is even grumpier than usual. I didn't think that was possible but it is.

Well Mom took me for a ride a couple of days ago and I was very bad. I called for Houston, he called for me and then the scariest thing happened. The blood sucking monster began calling to me. It was loud! Then there were more! Mom got very mad at me but I panicked! She had to longe me on the end of my reins till I calmed down enough to walk with her. There it was again! What is it?! It's so close! ACK! Wait why are we going to the drive way? The barn is the other way! No no no it's calling for my blood! And there's more than one! Ooh the donkey is out! Hi donkey, aren't you afraid of the horse eating monsters?! What are these other animals? They're making the noise! What should I do? I know, I'll look magnificent and impress them into not eating me! I stand on my tippy toes and arch my neck. Hah I'm so beautiful you won't eat me!
Wait. Houston told me about these. They're cows. And he said cows are stupid! They're coming up to the fence. I'll just keep impressing them just in case they're horse eaters. Then Mom turns me around and she climbs up on the fence and gets back on me. We go back to the barn and we work work work. Lots of little figure eights and voltes. Well at least the cows can't get me.

The next day I had to love on Mom to make her forgive me. I nuzzled her, I put my chin on her chest with my nose under her chin and blinked at her. I licked her. I tugged on her coat. I had to really love her up to say I'm sorry. I think she forgave me because she laughed and gave me lots of kisses.

Lots of things.

It has been COLD. Thankfully I have my pony coats. I have had to wear my pony sheet AND my pony coat! Houston says real horses don't need pony coats and he lets Mom know his opinion every day by biting his coat when she puts them on. I on the other hand get upset if my coat isn't put on in a timely manner. Like today Mom left us naked so we could bask in the sun. Well she didn't come back out till dark and I was certain I was going to freeze to death. I couldn't get my coats on fast enough. Mom bought these blue bobbing things that somehow keep the water warm and keep it from getting hard. The water got so hard that we couldn't break it to drink.



We got some new hay and I got to help put it away. Sorry the pictures are grainy, Mom took them on the box that she talks to and won't let me eat. She said it's called a cell phone.




And Hou and I were wrestling and I gave him a black eye. He had to see the doctor and the doctor sedated him because Houston didn't want the vet to stick his finger in his eye. I had Mom take pictures of him dreaming.




Also Houston and Mom's Man got a saddle. It is a Martin Matt Gaines Cutter. I got to try it on and I don't see what they're so crazy about. Houston says it's the best ever but I thought it was big and coarse and heavy. But I don't have to wear it. So whatever. Here's a picture.