I am an Imperial horse who NEEDS sugars!

Ukon

2010-11-24T07:46:00.000-08:00

Mom and Mom's Man went to the Florida to see Ukon and Aunt Zane. She said they had a great trip and that both Aunt Zane and Ukon are happy there. She said Ukon has grown!!! He's now 18.1 hands and around 1500 lbs. Well, I will have him know that I have been growing too. I'm now a whopping 14.3 and 1000 lbs. So there! Mom said that he lives in a beautiful barn. Well anything is nicer than our Horse Hovel. She also said that he has gathered quite the array of show ribbons with Trainer. So? Can you eat them? No. You cannot. So I am not impressed. Mom also told me that he is a good boy who doesn't try to kill his rider for minor infractions. And? He's a CARTHORSE. He doesn't have the same expectations that I, an Imperial Horse, have.

Anyway, here's some pictures.

WOOT WOOT!!

2010-09-22T17:05:00.000-07:00

I am a very happy Wonder Pony!! Mom rode me!!! And here I thought she didn't love me anymore. I had tried to comfort myself. I even tried to braid my own mane, but it ended up in snarls. WELL tonight Mom came down to the barn and started currying and grooming me. She got the snarls out of my mane and chided me for trying to braid it myself. Then she came out of the tack room with my bareback pad and bridle!! Oh Happy Pony Day! Well Mom put my pad and bridle on. But something was different. My bit was gone! I tried to put the chin strap in my mouth but Mom took it out and buckled it. But you forgot my bit!
Then we went to the ring and Mom got me on my circle. She may have said "trot trot" but I heard "WOO HA!" and went buck buck buck boing boing boing. I eventually settled down though. Well Mom then took me to the mounting block. I was so eager to go I stood still even though a horse fly was chewing on my butt. After killing the fly Mom got on and we toodled around at the walk. I will have you know I was perfect. I lifted my back and carried her and I even went long and low. I got all the "good boy"s and a hug AND all the cookies. Mom didn't even need to tie me! Not even for my shower. I was so proud of myself! Mom was very good too. She didn't clench her butt or pinch me breathless with her knees. She just rolled with me. She didn't even have to grab my mane! (This a big deal for her. We're both rather round so we aren't the most stable pair. Mom says my back is like a sofa. Big and cushy.)

HARRUMPH!!

2010-09-09T10:08:00.000-07:00

Harrumph I say! So long ago I let Mom put a link on my blog to Con-Mar the Lipizzan (who lets his human do the talking). Well he is a stallion who is a year younger than me. I just found out that Mom read his blog and learned that not only is he not trying to kill his human, he is even doing third level work! He's started working with the double bridle!

Con-Mar. You make me look bad! Here's what I propose...

Start playing dirty. You can outsmart your human. I did. Make your human think that you must be treated as though you're made of glass. Also convince her that you could go ballistic at any moment. That way all you have to do is roll your eyes a bit and totally get out of doing any work. Save all that fancy canter halfpass, collection, and half steps for the pasture. Which, I guarantee, you will see more of. It's easy to do. Take up bucking. If you can do a canterbuck flying lead change then that seems to go a long way. Add to that my favorite trick. Inverted tippy toes. Think of placing your ears on your croup and walking around stiff legged. If you can do this WHILE rolling your eyes and snorting then you're approaching MY level of talent. She'll be so busy trying to undo your evasion that you can easily put your nose between you knees and do a Flying canterbuck. If you really want to do fancy moves, keep them under your saddle pad and save them for evasions. Trot? NOPE! Piaffe!! Canter? HAH! Canter Half Pass!! Halt? Thprtt! LEVADE! You get the idea.

Wait. WHAT?!!! Mom wishes she could send me to your human. BAH!! Bah I say! I'll show YOU lack of work ethic! I work my haunches off! I strive to stay unridable for as long as possible! THAT is work!

What? What do you mean the stallions of the SRS willingly and happily do everything their humans want? What is WRONG with you guys?!!

That's it. I'm pouting.

I'm Seven By the Way

2010-09-07T07:21:00.000-07:00

I got so wrapped up in the clinic-from-hell saga that I forgot all about my birthday! Mom remembered it (August 25) and she made me my birthday bucket. I had apple cinnamon granola bars, apple juice, THREE peppermints and alfalfa cubes. It was So Good!! Hou had one too and from what I hear we'll be celebrating Hou's birthday in January. YAY birthday buckets twice a year!

Wow it's been a WHILE!!

2010-09-07T06:49:00.000-07:00

This summer has been BOOORING! It began good enough. We were riding every day. Mom went to a clinic and decided to "put on her big girl panties and canter". Whatever those are. Anyway we cantered! At home! By ourselves! So Mom signed us up for a clinic in June. We were late getting ready. Mom did everything wrong! She tacked me up in the stall instead of the crossties, and she decided it was too too hot to longe so we went right to it. I was mostly stupid. I was an inverted tippy toed fire breathing dragon. This Imperial Horse had been taken away from his nice quiet farm, ruthlessly driven away in a deathbox *trailer* and then plopped down at the farm where we used to live. I was then ripped away from my paddock with Hou in it and tacked up in a stall. A stall! I was NOT amused. So I inverted tippy toed all round the ring. We then had to trot endlessly so I decided to exit stage left and made a bee line (well it would have been a bee line had Mom not been trying to make me go back to the ring) for the door. Well then while we were trotting endlessly I got hot and I got tired. I then heard the trainer tell us to do some cantering. I put my ears back. I know enough human talk to know what "canter" means. Well Mom asked for it. And I said "NO!" by cow kicking and leaving the ring. By now Mom is riding rather stiffly and defensively and really ticking me off. Well she asked again! So I cantered two strides and gave her the three biggest bucks ever. On the last one I twisted and launched her into the air. She did a somersault and landed on her back breaking her helmet. I wasn't feeling too hot either. Well Mom got a concussion and I sprained my hip. So I've been busy getting fat fat fat and looking cute and Mom is healed but is recovering from a sprained elbow that she got the day before the clinic.

Well it's been too hot to ride so Hou has been getting fat and looking cute along with me. Since it's starting to cool off Mom decided to put Hou on the longe to get him back to thinking about work. Well he blew an absess. So no riding for any of us!

But the good news is that Capriole weather is coming WOO HOO!!

Good things!

2010-04-20T08:53:00.001-07:00

Well we the ponies are still shedding but Mom scrapes us regularly so we don't itch itch itch so bad. The weather has gotten warm and all the trees and grasses have woke up. We have gotten to go back on the pasture!! This is very good. We have really missed our pasture.

Mom and Mom's Man moved into the human barn on the farm in March. Mom is so happy that she doesn't have to take the car to see us. We like that we get fed in a more timely manner.

Our ring is still being built. The clay is nice and level and the telephone pole has finally been moved. Mom and I have been riding every day for a month or so. We are doing really well too. I haven't done anything stupid since the cow incident and Mom hasn't been panicking. We go round and round the ring doing walk, trot and laterals. I'm working on my leg yielding and learning shoulder in and haunches in. I'm pretty good at haunches in but shoulder in is a mystery to me. We haven't cantered yet, but we have been working on extended trot and yesterday we did a really fast trot. Mom did pretty well, she did get nervous when I got excited to canter so we walked after that. Hopefully we'll canter soon.

Houston's feet are almost normal. He's been taking his man for rides for months now. He's even started teaching his man trot! He and Mom's Man really like their saddle. Mom rode Hou in it and said it's the biggest thing ever. Houston has started singing again. I don't think I've told you but Hou sings little songs. It sounds like grunting but with notes and rhythm. He has different songs for different things. He has a song for Mom, a song for Mom's Man and a song to let Mom's Man know he's doing something right. Mom's Man was trying to make Hou do a leg yeild. When he asked wrong, Hou went in a circle. When he asked right Hou went sideways and sang. Mom thinks it's really cute and it makes Mom's Man laugh and laugh.

Imperial horses do not sing. We let you know we're pleased by not launching you into the air.

More coldness.

2010-02-17T18:43:00.000-08:00

This is how cold it was. It was so cold it snowed. Again!

This was terrible. I was cold! Imperial horses object to being uncomfortable in any way. And I was uncomfortable!

And yes, we had lots of hay.

But I knew more was in the barn so I had to beg. I am not satisfied! I need more hay!

growing, blood sucking monsters and apologies

2010-02-15T07:15:00.000-08:00

Well I have grown an inch. I am now 14.3 hands. I'm considering going for 15. Mom thought I was getting skinny but I weigh more now than I did when I moved here. BUT It has gotten me more oats so I won't complain. You can never have enough food, really. I get all the hay I can eat and now lots more oats.

But we are shedding now. We itch itch itch and it makes us grumpy. Houston is even grumpier than usual. I didn't think that was possible but it is.

Well Mom took me for a ride a couple of days ago and I was very bad. I called for Houston, he called for me and then the scariest thing happened. The blood sucking monster began calling to me. It was loud! Then there were more! Mom got very mad at me but I panicked! She had to longe me on the end of my reins till I calmed down enough to walk with her. There it was again! What is it?! It's so close! ACK! Wait why are we going to the drive way? The barn is the other way! No no no it's calling for my blood! And there's more than one! Ooh the donkey is out! Hi donkey, aren't you afraid of the horse eating monsters?! What are these other animals? They're making the noise! What should I do? I know, I'll look magnificent and impress them into not eating me! I stand on my tippy toes and arch my neck. Hah I'm so beautiful you won't eat me!
Wait. Houston told me about these. They're cows. And he said cows are stupid! They're coming up to the fence. I'll just keep impressing them just in case they're horse eaters. Then Mom turns me around and she climbs up on the fence and gets back on me. We go back to the barn and we work work work. Lots of little figure eights and voltes. Well at least the cows can't get me.

The next day I had to love on Mom to make her forgive me. I nuzzled her, I put my chin on her chest with my nose under her chin and blinked at her. I licked her. I tugged on her coat. I had to really love her up to say I'm sorry. I think she forgave me because she laughed and gave me lots of kisses.

Lots of things.

2010-01-12T16:43:00.001-08:00

It has been COLD. Thankfully I have my pony coats. I have had to wear my pony sheet AND my pony coat! Houston says real horses don't need pony coats and he lets Mom know his opinion every day by biting his coat when she puts them on. I on the other hand get upset if my coat isn't put on in a timely manner. Like today Mom left us naked so we could bask in the sun. Well she didn't come back out till dark and I was certain I was going to freeze to death. I couldn't get my coats on fast enough. Mom bought these blue bobbing things that somehow keep the water warm and keep it from getting hard. The water got so hard that we couldn't break it to drink.

We got some new hay and I got to help put it away. Sorry the pictures are grainy, Mom took them on the box that she talks to and won't let me eat. She said it's called a cell phone.

And Hou and I were wrestling and I gave him a black eye. He had to see the doctor and the doctor sedated him because Houston didn't want the vet to stick his finger in his eye. I had Mom take pictures of him dreaming.

Also Houston and Mom's Man got a saddle. It is a Martin Matt Gaines Cutter. I got to try it on and I don't see what they're so crazy about. Houston says it's the best ever but I thought it was big and coarse and heavy. But I don't have to wear it. So whatever. Here's a picture.

Ring!

2009-12-30T14:30:00.000-08:00

So this big yellow snorting monster came to the farm. Mom said it is the bull dozer and that it eats dirt and makes the earth move. I don't know what that has to do with sleeping bulls but whatever.

Well that thing has been eating and moving the dirt for two days! It even ate the dirt in our paddock prison. Mom said this would fix the mud but we have our doubts. Well he has been eating a place where Mom made us a small grassy space. NOW where will we go for grasses!? Hmmm? Where!? This could be a very serious pony problem! We got so upset at the prospect of never seeing grasses again that we started run run running in the pasture and snorting and bucking at the yellow bull dozer monster. The only good thing is that we have been returned to the pasture for two days.

Mom says that this bull dozer is making us a place to ride! And it will be nice and smooth and level and there will be rock dust too so we won't have to wait for the everlasting mud to go away for us to ride! We are very excited about this. Houston really wants to work on training his man and I really got to work on Mom. We are getting flabby and I have lost that wonderful figure I got at Trainer's place.

This was last week

This was this morning

I decide that I am doomed

2009-12-09T14:21:00.000-08:00

The weather has been horrid so Mom and I haven't had many adventures. And now I'm all wooly and funny looking so no pictures.

We have had so much rain this acorn season. And now Hou and I are convinced that we are dying. Dying I tell you. I think I'll call the ASPCA. I have them on speed dial you know. We have been removed from the pasture. Mom claims that it won't be there in the spring if we are out in it any longer. Sure we have the paddock and as much hay as we can eat, but we're dying. Mom says we'll get lots of hand grazing but we don't believe her. So what if we'll eat the already drowned grasses to the dirt, we want the grasses!

And to add insult to injury, due to my flinging myself to the ground fad The Gail, Fixer of Bony Bits is coming tomorrow. BAH! I think I'll think of naughty things to do to the humans.

Ponies gone wild

2009-10-02T05:30:00.000-07:00

So Farrier David was out of town so another farrier did our trims. I was not pleased. He did everything differently! Everything from the way he said "hello" to the way he held my foot. I decided that he was not worthy of my greatness so I snatched my feet away and wiggled alot. Houston was unimpressed too but he hates everything. He's such a grump.

Well Mom came out to the field with a lunge line. She said she just wanted to make sure we're sound. I stood like a gentleman and let her remove her jacket and tie it around her waist. Then I trotted out nicely. Then the cool breeze picked up and WOO HA I was off!! I went round in a slow gallop. Then I decided that the air was so nice I would do Airs. I did a Capriole, a Levade, and three Ballotades. Then I did four one tempis and three two tempis. At a gallop thank you very much! Then Mom had me go the other way. WOO HA here I go!! Don't want to go that way, Pirouette on one foot and go the other way! No, she drags me in till the circle got too small to gallop and turned me around again. And I'm OFF!!! Zoom Zoom Zoom! Then I actually started trotting and licking / chewing so Mom called me in and took the cavesson off. I followed her closely wondering what we were doing now. Oh she's putting it on Houston. I get closer to watch. Then mom pushes me away. No I'm pretty sure thats MY cavesson I need to stay close. So she taps me with the w-h-i-p and I ZOOOM up the hill. When I spin around again Houston is on the line trotting. OH we're lunging again!? COMING!!! I zoom down the hill and fall in next to Hou. He's trotting but I'm doing a collected canter with my tail in the air. Round we go. I'm bored so I throw a buck at Hou and go tearing off into the woods. I am hidden. The mystery horse. That's right you keep being goody goody four hooves. BOOM Ha Ha! I'm crashing out of the woods heading on a collision course with Hou. I swerve away and go tearing round the pasture. Then ZOOM! I come back nearly hitting him again. Then I go by again, tear up the hill like my tails on fire. When I slide to a stop and eat grass like nothing happened. OOH OOH I'm thirsty! ZOOOM to the trough, drink and look at Mom and Hou like "what?"

Happy Autumn!!!

A great weekend

2009-09-08T09:57:00.000-07:00

So I had my Sixth Birthday bucket. It was SO GOOD!

And then Mom sat on me bareback while I grazed. That was fun.

Will write more later, it's dinner time

Mine!

2009-08-27T10:48:00.000-07:00

So Houston has a puffy ankle. I don't care but apparently Mom does. So she comes out of the feed room with this gooey yummy treat that had molasses and oats and alfalfa cube bits. I knew it was for me. Of course it was for me! Right?! So I tried to eat it. Mom popped me on the nose! Can you believe it? It was for Houston! She said it had medicines in it for Houston's puffy ankle. Whose name do you think is on the molasses jar? Mine! That means all molasseses are mine. Not Houston's. So while he was eating MY molasses I walked under his neck. Right before my withers got to his jaw BAM I raised my head and CHOMP went his teeth! HA HA HA!!! That was so funny I asked Mom for some of MY molasses. She popped me on the nose again! And she said something about being nice to my brother or something. I don't know, I wasn't listening.

I did get to lick molasses off Mom's hand, but it just wasn't the same.

Pictures

2009-08-12T16:53:00.001-07:00

Here are some pictures from today. They're backwards.

It's me. Houston

2009-07-08T17:35:00.001-07:00

Max had some words written on his wall and directions to here. I had my man read them to me. This is me. Houston. I thought I'd introduce myself. I'm an 11 year old Foundation Quarter horse. (Max says what you are is important. That I should tell everybody.) I've had lots of jobs. I worked cows. I taught people to ride. I did dressage and took care of my disabled rider. I am a good horse. My new lady said I'll never be ridden in an English saddle again. That is good. I am not an English horse. Farrier David says I'm a "good old fashioned Quarter Horse". I like Farrier David. My feet don't hurt so much now so I don't have to bite him. I know biting people is bad, but I just hurt all the time and no one would fix it. My man and the lady knew what was wrong and Farrier David is fixing it. I love my man. The lady said once when I was for sale that I could pick my person. I didn't know that. Everyone had picked me up till then. I asked Max and the others and they told me how to do it. So I picked my man. He is a good man. He doesn't know Horse yet, but I can teach him. That is my new job. It is a good job. It took my man a while to get me. But now he's mine or I'm his. I haven't figured all this out yet. My man and the lady say that I'll never be sold again. I like that. So far they have done what they told me they would do.

New Digs

2009-06-30T15:26:00.000-07:00

Well we moved into our new home today. I discovered a new thing to hate. Trailers with ramps. Houston (goody four shoes) walked right on like he does this every day and then called me a sissy pony for making such a fuss. It was so horrible I got bad poops.

My new stall is super comfortable. The floor is soft but smells funny. So I peed on it. I couldn't believe that I actually had missed that stupid bird horse but it was great to see him again. We both got pedicures and Houston is spending his first night with a bare foot trim. He likes it so far but he still can't feel his feet yet so we'll see. He still has the founder and they said it is sinkers or something like that. But Farrier David said he should be able to take Mom's man riding in six moons *months* and go hit the trails by the next hotness *summer*. He said to tell you guys MY fans that he is excited to have his own man and he can't wait to teach him about horses. He's already less grumpy than he was and hasn't bitten anyone all day. I don't think he feels well. He's never gone this long without tasting people meat.

I got to teach Farrier David's friends why Lipizzans are better than all other horses. I think they were impressed. Houston says to tell you that they said he was beautiful and they were impressed that he's a foundation Quarter Horse. Whatever.

Anyway, PICTURES!!

What. are. you. THINKING!?

2009-06-29T08:36:00.001-07:00

Ok. I give up. What are you thinking? Getting on my back requires that you actually ride. Not just sit there. Giving up and just becoming a lump on my back makes me confused. Don't tell me to trot. You are a potato so I walk. What do you mean canter? You are in no position for me to canter. You fell forward at canter so I had to levade to push you back into place. You've never ridden me this badly before. That and my standards are a bit higher now that I know more than you. Even Trainer said it was you being bad, not me.

Stupid Human.

And We didn't leave for the new place today. We leave tomorrow morning right after breakfast.

*Sorry buddy, I thought I was recovered from heat exhaustion but I guess I'm not. I did ride you very very poorly.*

Bird horse for a brother

2009-06-26T15:26:00.000-07:00

Well, it's official. Mom bought that stupid bird horse Houston today. She even bought him a snazzy halter that matches mine! And apparently we move into our new digs on Monday. I am not pleased.

Still doing well

2009-06-05T17:00:00.000-07:00

I'm still at Trainer's place. Mom says my farm will be ready for Bird Horse Houston and me at the end of the month. She won't be able to move in till later, but she says she'll be there all day every day working on the house, so we won't be starved or starved for attention. We'll see about that. I have my doubts.

About Trainer's place. I am the most talented, most beautiful, and most intelligent horse here. I know this because I'm surrounded by Cart Horses. All of them. And they're loony! My pasture mate is a little younger than me and bullies me. He bit my neck and my nose. Then there is the Little Black Mare. Sure she's a hottie (but let me tell you she's no Hannah) but I think she must have a screw loose. About a month ago I was TRYING to do my job and she's spinning like a horse crazed on the lunge line. I can do that RIGHT in my sleep! Then Mom got on me and Trainer Wife got on Little Black Mare. There were horses out and I looked at them a bit. LBM went crazy. Jumped sideways and tried to take off. I just rolled my eyes.

I've been practicing my turn on the forehand and being on the bit. I still have trouble with long and low but at least I'm no longer short and high. Mom is riding when she can, and WE CANTERED TOGETHER!! This was a very big deal. Mom was hurt by a horse years ago and only recently got over it, so it was important for me to get her going again. It's hard to train a human. At least Trainer yells at her for me. He's a great help. I don't think I could do it by myself. I tried to make her canter on my own but it only scared her. I don't know why she still gets tense, I have a great canter. Anyway, her balance is getting better and she doesn't panic as much. I was even able to take her on a trail ride today. She did really well and even sang my "Maximus the good boy" song. I got a BIG hug, shower and cookies for our ride today. We're doing pretty well, but we've lost a bit of our riding relationship because of all the junk last year but we're getting there. I still love my mom and today she said she "love love loves" me so I think we'll get it back.

I haven't told you, my fans, but Trainer says I'm the best Lipizzan he's seen. He says the only thing he'd change is that my legs are a bit short, but so are Mom's so I'm not worried about that. He says I'm a great mover and will be competitive against Cart Horses. Of course I'll be competitive, I'm an Imperial Horse!!

Well

2009-05-01T15:04:00.000-07:00

Well Mom was gone to Europe forever. So I've had no one to write for me. While she was gone, my human grandmother helped me start my OWN email account and send messages to Mom. I have been doing really well at Trainer's. I have learned alot. I even learned shoulder in and leg yield!

2009-03-31T21:54:00.001-07:00

I got an award! There's rules but I am an Imperial horse. I make my own rules! I nominate myself. And myself. OH and me. I'm not full of myself I'm just the best horse ever. So there.

Oh and thanks Cactus Jack Splash for recognizing my wonderfulness.

"These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers. Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award."

BAH!! I AM self aggrandizing! But cute and lovable too.

day 5

2009-03-22T11:44:00.001-07:00

I had yesterday off. Today Mom showed up right after Trainer got on me. I was a very good boy. I didn't buck, but I did try to alternate sticking my nose in the air and then putting my chin on my chest. It didn't work. So I was good. Mom asked Trainer if I had potential. Trainer said "absolutely! And I think he's a good horse for you, but I haven't seen you ride yet." Well that made Mom nervous because I'm way more talented than she is. And she doesn't think she's that good of a rider. I think she's ok. Trainer is better balanced, but I like Mom alright.

What ticked me off today was that I had to go back to my stall after our workout. I've been going outside after to dry off in the sun. BAH!

trainer. day 3

2009-03-20T09:58:00.000-07:00

Mom came today to witness my destruction. I made my best grumpy faces. It was horrible. I had to do what Trainer wanted, not what I, Maximus wanted. I had to walk, trot, and halt when asked. I had to turn when asked and go straight, not zigzag. I had to canter. The whole ring. Over and over. I tried zigging and zagging. I tried ducking the contact. I tried putting my nose in the air. I even bucked. Nothing worked. I HAD to do what she said. Mom said I looked better than I ever have. Trainer agreed with her that riding me is like riding a mare. A MARE! Could they insult me more?? OH and Trainer said that "he's got to learn that this isn't the Max show." Where has she been? This IS the Max show. But I got cookies and a shower so it wasn't too bad in the end.

It's over

2009-03-16T18:43:00.000-07:00

My life is over. The time to go to Trainer has come. Mom came tonight and cleaned out the tack room. She said I would be ridden everyday and would have to work hard and learn alot. Curses! My days of toodling around are over. Apparently I leave in the morning. And after I'm done being tortured by Trainer I'm not coming back to the beautiful farm where I'm living. Mom said she's bought a farm and Houston (remember him? The bird horse?) will be my brother. If I were less of a gentleman I would curse. And I know how to curse. Doc the wise taught me some good ones. I am practicing my angry faces tonight just to snub the idiot humans.

conformation

2009-03-12T06:54:00.000-07:00

Well someone was asking Mom what makes a good conformation photo. And since I am an Imperial horse, only my pictures will do.

1: this one is OK. The bushes hide my beautiful forelegs.

2:This one is only OK because Mom had no help and put m front legs on a different surface.

3: This one is GOOD. This is the one that she sent to Schleese when we were figuring out what saddles we wanted to try. Please excuse my appearance and conformation. I was damp and in a growth spurt. Still the handsomest guy around though.

4: This one is BAD. I look like a draft cross.

5: This one is bad because I was sure Mom had carrots. Just sure of it. Had to go check it out. The pic makes me look like I have a pea head. Which I do not thank you very much.

Nope! Nuh uh, Don't wanna.

2009-03-06T15:41:00.000-08:00

Well I helped Mom realize why the other people call it "the terrible fives". I decided the other day that trot in a 20 meter circle actually means trot till the center line, leg yield toward A and the canter with my nose in the air. When I reached the mirrors I slide to a stop say "hello" to that handsome guy in the mirror and then Mom thanks me for not killing her. I thought this was a grand game. I have been dropping hints that we are ready for canter, but Mom said we aren't so I had to show her that we actually are. She was not amused. So our instructor came today and said I had "bad habits" and "a lack of obedience". I'll have you know five year old Imperial horses proudly practice optional obedience. She didn't agree. Mom and I had a bit of a war. I wanted to leg yield, canter and slide to a stop. Mom wanted to trot in endless circles. BOOORRRINGGG! Anyway I did eventually concede defeat and trotted around in endless circles to her little hearts delight. I really made her work for it though. Mom had to take lots of walk breaks and whooo ponies did she huff and puff! Then those devilish humans made me do trot-walk-trot transitions all the way around the ring! I tried to leg yield to the center line and canter but noooo, trot-walk-trot was the result. So I tried to grab the bit. Mom got it back. Then I tried rooting, Mom won again. Then I tried curling my nose to my chest. Mom pushed me forward till I had to look where I was going. Bah. Bah I say! By the end of the lesson we were both sweaty beasts and dragging our toes back to the barn. I got a consolation carrot and went back out to my pasture. I had a great roll. Got both sides dirty! Then I had to rear and kick with my buddies.

What kind of tricks should I use tomorrow?

2009-02-25T11:46:00.000-08:00

This is my new duds. Since the picture I saw the Schleese lady again and she said I had a little bit of withers now! She actually had to narrow it a bit. Because of my growth spurt I also got an oversized browband and a 6" bit. I'm now sporting a Dee ring. I really like it. That pad you see is a rubber one because my saddle wouldn't stay put at first. I don't have to wear it anymore.

Riding!!!!!

2009-01-27T12:03:00.000-08:00

Well I got to see my new saddle today. Mom said it came last night when it was too late to bring it to the barn. It is really pretty. In the second picture you can also see my big fat girth in front of the saddle.

Well I was naughty when Mom was getting me tacked up, so she took me to the lunge ring. Well it was the first warm day in forever and so I had to buck, careen, rear, and swerve toward Mom. Had to. So Mom reminded me that she is boss mare and that I belong below her in the herd. Sorry Mom, I forgot.

When I was done being silly, Mom and Aunt Diane took me to the indoor. Since my saddle was a bit wiggly in the lunge Aunt Diane brought out a special pad that would help it stay on. I was the best boy. I got ALL the "good boy"s. We walked alot and we went sideways. On purpose! I could really feel Mom and she could tell me where to go using just her weight. I felt a pull to the left, so I went left (or right). Then we started trotting. I wasn't too sure that we could trot in this new saddle, but I did it. It was so great not to be pinched by a saddle. I could give to the bit and even stretch down without it hurting. Which got me lots of "good boy"s. I was so good that Mom even rode on a long rein and stretched us and I could feel her melt into my back. It was very good. When Mom got off me she gave me a big scratch and loosened my girth. You horses out there should really train your humans to do this. Its the best reward ever. You can really relax and breathe when your girth is loosened. When we got back, Mom pulled all my tack off, brushed my saddle mark and gave me a big fat carrot. I even let her hug me.

saddle number three

2009-01-26T12:32:00.000-08:00

Ok so back in October, Mom finally listened to me and realized my new saddle didn't fit. So this lady came a long long way to fit me with a custom saddle. She even fit Mom! Well it is coming today. Mom hasn't ridden me in five whole months because of a million reasons, and we're very excited. Mom says the fedex is evil and came to her stall just to turn around! Now she's imagining that she hears trucks and knocks at the door while she waits. I'm excited because I miss riding with Mom on me.

To hold us over, here's a picture of our new saddle..

So Mom said to tell you guys that we have two saddles, two girths, and one pair of stirrups to sell. The first one is an 18" wintec 500 (comes with leathers) and the other is a 17.5" long flap Barnsby N-Gage (comes with stirrups, leathers, and a bucking strap.). The girths are a fuzzy 22" and a neoprene 24". If you want one then call the tack shop Horsepower at 678-423-3699

This just in!

2008-12-25T06:48:00.000-08:00

I got a Merry Christmas picture from my Mom and little brother Luc in New Hampshire! Glad I'm down here, that looks COLD!

2008-12-24T08:56:00.001-08:00

Merry Christmas!

Pictures

2008-12-18T15:27:00.000-08:00

Hi! Got any carrots?

Well can I eat the Camera then?

Fine I'll just go eat nasty old grass. Over there.

I love human foals. They have lots of apples. And if you lick them they squeak.

human trust test

2008-12-15T19:46:00.000-08:00

So you're not sure that your trust levels are on the up and up with your human. How do you know you can trust your human? Do what I did.

Human Trust Test
have your human come to the barn ridiculously late so that she doesn't have time to groom you properly. (Hellooooo, my mane is all scraggly!!)

Reproach her for not working you in the morning like all the other horse moms.

Take her to the indoor ring before moonrise so that she can't see.

I decided to let her look for holes while I looked for wolves. She told me that I actually see in the dark better than her, so then I had to look for wolves and holes. Humans really are helpless aren't they?

Well She-who-feeds forgot to leave the correct outside light on so it was REALLY dark.

Mom opened the door to the indoor arena (this is one of the reasons we domesticated humans right? They have thumbs.) and we saw the greatest blackness. I tell Mom that we can do it so in we go.

You couldn't see your own hooves it was so dark! Mom couldn't see anything either! So I put my muzzle on her shoulder and she used the w-h-i-p to feel for the light switch.

Lights on! But the indoor is so foggy our trip is useless. Mom said it would make for lovely pictures, but I am wooly like the yak and she does weird things with her hair in winter, so needless to say, we didn't look our best.

I had her make use of those thumbs and turn on the outside light so we wouldn't be blinded by the greatest blackess.

We went back out into the night and made it back to the barn. I, of course, had to look for cougars AND holes. (How do they manage after they leave the barn? I guess their house wolves help them along. Why they keep wolves is beyond me.)

I was so proud of my human. She never spooked or put a foot wrong! I did have to reassure her a bit but she was so good that I let her give me all the carrots!

2008-10-24T18:28:00.000-07:00

here's another recognition of my pony greatness that I got from cdncowgirl. when I got it I couldn't figure out how to post it at the time. Thanks!!!

2008-10-20T16:37:00.000-07:00

One red horse has recognized my awesomeness with this award. Of course. We all know that I am the best horse ever.

Mom says that there are rules involved with this recognition of my greatness. Apparently I have to nominate five other people to receive the same.

and I can't believe it, but I can't nominate myself five times. The NERVE!!!

Fine.

Freeway, the horse that was saved.

Roxie, my girlfriend on the internets.

my human grandmother

Lester, the thoroughbred who is smart enough to get himself retired.

misu, Mom says she's my cat sister. I've never met her, but mom says she's funny. whatever.

Pictures

2008-10-16T08:27:00.001-07:00

Because you can't get enough of me, here's some pictures. and one of Ukon too.

Ukon

2008-10-11T11:36:00.000-07:00

This is a picture of Ukon. Mom took it while he and his person were being tortured by Trainer. Ukon is taking his person to live in Florida. He told me that his person said that his new house is beautiful and that there are lots of big horses there. I heard mom tell his person that we'll have to come visit sometime. That would be fun! Mom says that there's real cart horses there for me to make fun of. I can't wait.

Houston

2008-10-07T21:12:00.001-07:00

even though he is a bird horse, he needs all our jingles, prayers, and love. Hou's feet bones have rotated. His front feet hurt really bad. the people said he has founder. I hear that this is really bad. I'm in the little paddock next to him to keep him company.

So please think of Houston.

there's no shaking her!

2008-09-17T19:45:00.001-07:00

Ok ok. To make a long story short, I hate my saddle. I hate it so much I really bucked hard with she who rubs and rides. I even broke the crupper! (which is good. I hate that too) and the idiot humans finally figured out that my saddle was wrong. DUH! I tried telling you, but did you listen to me? Noooo. Mom says we're getting a special saddle made just for me because she's "sick of this saddle mess. Just sick of it." Me too.

Well anyway, she who rubs and rides got on me bareback. It was great till she wanted me to trot. Hellooo you don't have a saddle remember? Well I tried to show her the flaw in her idea by doing a capriole. My first capriole! WELL SHE STAYED ON!!! When I landed I decided to trot. Then I reared once and she told me that as boss mare she is perfectly capable of killing AND eating me so I was a good boy after that.

for now.

What the heck!!!

2008-09-01T19:41:00.000-07:00

ok what did I do?????

I mean really! I don't get it! there I was, being a good boy, and Mom and She who rubs and rides were there and Aunt Gigi and and and THEY MADE ME CANTER AND CANTER AND CANTER!!! Mom never rides me like that! When she rides we just toodle around and she acts like I'm made of glass or something and I get all the good boys. but Friday was different. it all started normal enough. she who rubs and rides got on me and we walked real slow. then we walked faster. then we trotted. and then everybody starts yelling "canter! canter! canter!" and I'm not sure I can do that because I don't canter with people on my back and AAAAHHHHHHH! I'M CANTERING!! Crap! how did that happen! I gave a buck but they made me keep going! I gotta trot! and they all start saying "canter canter canter!!!" and I do and they say "good boy!!" What?! I'm ALLOWED to canter with people on my back?! Okayyy, I'll do it, but I don't like it!

I cantered so much that I got really tired and sweaty. I didn't even want to walk ALL the way from the cross ties to the wash rack. she who rubs and rides asked what I thought of the ride and I just gave her my best "I don't know what the heck just happened" look and rolled my eyes. But then I got three carrots and an apple so maybe it wasn't so bad afterall.

the water snake LIVES!!!

2008-08-26T17:49:00.000-07:00

Ok ok so I was walking to the lunge place with she who rubs my ouchy bits and now rides me and there was a water snake in the path!! AND IT MOVED!!! it wasn't a water snake, it was a real snake! I was very brave though. I did not run. I asked She who rubs and rides "well? what are you going to do about this?" And she saved us. she found a way that had no breathing water snakes.

My birthday bucket

2008-08-26T17:39:00.001-07:00

I celebrated my 5th birthday yesterday. Mom came and gave me the best bucket ever. there were carrots and apples and alfalfa cubes and apple juice and molasses. Oh my gosh it was good. And warm, which is good because it was cool and rainy.

I liked my bucket so much that I had to lick it clean.

the medicines on my face are because Houston bit me. But that's another story.

I am Beautiful

2008-08-16T14:22:00.001-07:00

look at me, Maximus the Beautiful.

Schnoz

2008-08-13T22:28:00.000-07:00

So I have a big nose. Mom says guys with big noses are dignified.

So I outgrew my horse sized cavesson. Mom had to get an oversize. The crown piece is on the smallest hole while the nose band is three holes from the biggest. The flash is on the smaller end.

That just means I'm extra dignified.

I give up

2008-08-13T20:56:00.000-07:00

No more bucking. I promise. for now.

word around the water trough is that Mom is going to send me away. she keeps talking about "getting me ready". I don't know what I'm getting ready for, but I think it has to do with my bucking. she keeps talking about someone named "trainer" and talks alot about "starting my canter work". I don't know who this "trainer" person is, but I hope they understand that I Maximus am an Imperial Horse. and I need sugars. and all the carrots. and I know how to canter. I do it all the time. I can even canter AND buck. today I canterbucked and changed leads. now THATS talent.

I am already planning all the ways I will test this "trainer" character. Doc the wise said that I shouldn't try the patience of Trainer. that horses who do not do what Trainer says stay with Trainer and don't return to their mom for a long time. he reminded me that we hadn't seen Ian Horse since the coldness. "That's because he is with Trainer" said Doc.
Doc is very wise.

she who feeds moved My Hannah to my side of the barn... I can see her from my stall. sigh.

But more on this Trainer. I've been asking around, and all the horses have different answers. Ukon says Trainer taught him alot. Trainer even belonged to Ukon . Houston says Trainer made him a school horse. Kicks said "Trainer? never heard of him. OOH a flower!" Kicks wasn't much help. Hannah said "you deserve Trainer you little !@#$." she loves me.

So I guess this Trainer person is going to teach me something. I think I'll teach Trainer to Levade.

oh

2008-08-10T19:32:00.000-07:00

Oh Hannah! you are so beautiful. won't you love me? please??

Here's what I learned

2008-08-09T13:19:00.000-07:00

Bucking, while fun and impressive, doesn't go over well when applied to humans.

I finally feel better. My ankle is healed, my feet are finally trimmed properly, and I've had my teeth done AND massages. So I had to show mom just how good I feel.

so there we were in the great outdoors. just Mom and me. she being the evil human that she is made me do hill work. well I wanted to take the easy route and she made me do the steepest, hardest parts. SO then when she wanted to go into the dressage ring to torture me some more I thought I'd show her what I thought of that. so I bucked. on the long lines. I nearly died. Mom went into boss mare mode and made me work HARD for another 20 minutes! doesn't she know I'm a Imperial Horse! I'm supposed to get my way!

so the next day she who tortures horses took me out to lunge. I haven't been on the lunge in AGES. mom said we were lunging because of my bucking incident. that I needed to respect her. well I had other ideas. while I was cantering, ok zooming, around she kept putting the w-h-i-p close to me. SO I zoomed in close and threw out a double barrel buck. I nearly died again. nearly. Then mom chased me! she chased me and chased me until I gave up, put my head down and followed her around. then she chased me the other way! I gave up already lady, don't you know I'm sorry??
then I had to go back to the barn behind her and got no carrots. doesn't she know who I am??

Then yesterday I got to lunge in the hunter ring *because it's in sight of the barn in case you managed to nail me you little bugger* and I zoomed around a bit. then I wanted to see if Mom meant it when she said I couldn't buck. so I bucked. THE W-H-I-P NEARLY BIT ME!!! so I bucked again, lost my balance and bit the dust. I didn't know humans could throw horses to the ground with their minds!! WOW.

I don't know if I'm done bucking though. we'll just have to see

Bath Day

2008-08-06T18:38:00.000-07:00

This is how much I hate the water snake. I nearly drowned. There I was, trying to disguise myself as a chestnut and you had to go and wash it all off. Bah. That's what I say. Bah.

Hi! I'm little snot!

2008-05-21T13:10:00.000-07:00

ok so I think my name has changed to little snot. Mom was making me beautiful and she had to undo one cross tie to let another horse go by. well I had to look around while she was trying to braid my mane and try to nibble her elbow. well I got a smack and a "little snot!" then Aunt Sherry started feeding and so I had to try to steal Houston's food and watch her feed. (had to make sure she remembered my bucket!) well I got another smack and "little snot!" oh, were you still trying to braid my mane?? oh well. then mom gave up and gave me dinner. THEN the worst! mom said how there is a photographer coming at the end of the month and so... I was going to get a groom-a-thon! well you won't believe it. I went to the washrack and mom came out with CLIPPERS!!! well they attacked me and ate all of my face!!! and then there was a bath. she even bathed my face! I nearly drowned! and then! then she put the tingly whitening on my tail and socks and I had to stand there FOREVER with my ankles tingling while she re-braided my mane. then I was rinsed off and had to do my best drowned rat impersonation.

never fear dear reader, I fought the clipper monster. I got lots of "little snot"s but I resisted. I feel I have some sort of victory because my ears and a bit of my star are still hairy.

heaven

2008-05-13T10:24:00.000-07:00

dog who lies in paths went to wolf heaven today.

here's something I hate

2008-05-08T11:10:00.000-07:00

saddle fitting. I hate saddle fitting. almost as much as I hate my old saddle. almost.

they put a saddle on you, tighten the breath stealer * girth * and get on your back. over and over and over. I tried on six saddles, and had two more put on me. some pinched, some flopped, and some rocked. I was a good boy though and did not buck.

Thankfully Mom found one we like so no more saddle fitting!

max the downtrodden

2008-04-22T12:22:00.000-07:00

oh I am bad. bad bad. mom even made boss mare faces. we were riding and walking and then mom said trot and I did and I bunny hopped and mom ended up at my feet and I didn't know how she got there and she fussed and I thought she was going to eat me and then she got back on and I didn't even wiggle and I trotted like a good boy and then she made me walk BEHIND her to the barn and then after she took my tack off I went to my house and she left and she hasn't come back for two days and I don't know why.

*my back hurts you little monster. Its trying to go out. thank goodness I had my crash vest on. I looked like I was geared up for Peter Pan's S.W.A.T. team, but I'm not too hurt.*

well fine then

2008-04-14T16:32:00.001-07:00

the weather has been cold and wet today so all of the horses have been wild. Gremlins love cold wet days after all.

So Mom takes me AND the bird horse houston to the indoor. Mom tried to get on my back so I wiggled and wiggled and wiggled. I thought it was a great joke but Mom didn't agree so I let her get on. well then we got to the middle of the ring and I just had to give a little buck. but Mom said "walk on Max" so I did. then we walked and walked and walked. it was all very boring so I decided we should trot a bit. about half the ring later I finally gave in and walked and walked and walked. I got alot of good boys and Mom even sang my good boy song to me! did I ever tell you I have my own song?? it's wonderful. it's all about me and my brave good boy self. it almost made me forget about the gremlins that suddenly arrived in the indoor.
But then Mom put me in a stall and tacked up houston! well he wiggled and wiggled too but he eventually let Mom get on. well they got to do all the fun stuff! trotting, cantering (alot of cantering) and even went sideways! I was fascinated and just watched the whole thing. but then I heard it. it was. DINNER!! so I had to neigh to Mom and let her and houston know. well houston was naughty then so I had to neigh again. they rode a bit more and then Mom took us to the barn where we had our dinner with carrots in it. (aunt Sandra always gives us goodies when she visits her horses. we love aunt Sandra.)

Aunt Diane asked how our ride went. Mom said I was an ape and hou was an angel. I've decided that apes must be much better than angels because I'm way better than houston.

I'm Back!!

2008-04-08T20:40:00.000-07:00

I'm Back under saddle again! the vet came today and said I was a very good healing boy and that the hole in my leg is all gone. and now Mom can ride me again! and he said that I am such a good boy that I healed faster than he thought I would. and in two weeks I get to go out and play! watch out bear, your butt needs a bite! I also got bee stings on my neck *shots* and THREE carrots!! AND sugars! I am such a good boy!

to celebrate Mom put the not saddle *surcingle* on me and the longest lines and we went on the trail! it was so much fun! Bear, Ukon, and Walter were so happy to see me that they galloped to the fence to say hi. I wanted to eat all the grasses, but mom wouldn't let me. said something about working and blah blah blah. I'm not sure why I couldn't have the grasses, I wasn't really listening to mom. I just know that the horse eating whip tapped my butt when I tried to sample them.

AND I got to teach Mom "gee" and "haw". she heard from my first mom that I knew that and wanted to see if I remembered. and since she isn't real sure which means right and which means left, I got all the good boys.

take THAT bird horse!!

Oh Hannah!!!

2008-04-01T17:20:00.000-07:00

So Mom helped me give Hannah a gift. (you remember Hannah? she's my love.) it was a box of notecards with a horse that looks almost as beautiful as my Hannah. and guess what!! Hannah wrote me back! OH OH Happy Day! she said that she's touched that I thought of her and that if she doesn't acknowledge my presence it's because she's contemplating the finer points of Piaffe and Passage. And she included pictures!

Oh my Hannah, I knew you would come to love me too!

Mom read me the letter, and I got a bit embarrassed and had to hide my face for a minute. I wish I could read so Bear didn't have to hear her letter.

Oh well

HAPPY EASTER!!

2008-03-25T16:03:00.000-07:00

thprtt!!

2008-03-23T23:05:00.001-07:00

take that houston! on friday AND monday mom came to see just me! I got my feet beautiful-ed and then a nice lady came and rubbed me all over and made my ouchie bits go away. she even did it to dog who lies in paths! he said she is the gail and that she is the boney bone fixer. whatever that means. I don't speak wolf.

the law is laid

2008-03-07T13:56:00.000-08:00

so here is the Rules. You may ride the bird horse (even though you know how I feel about birds). you may groom the bird horse. BUT you must always groom me first. Doc the wise said I had to assert my rights as first horse and that is what I'm doing. If you fail to follow this rule then I shall look at you with disdain and not speak to you. so there. as first horse I must always be first.

Maximus the melancholy

2008-02-29T14:01:00.000-08:00

never trust a bird horse.
sure Mom told me that she'd be leasing Houston but I didn't believe her. Houston is a bird horse. he's bay and the only white on him is a killer bird on his hip. *he's a Quarter horse with a bird brand.*
so here was my morning. I was busy grazing in this little paddock (my incarceration has improved slightly. now I get outside time.) and there's Mom!!! Oh I could use a good grooming and some peppermint cookies! wait, she's walking right past me MOM I'M OVER HERE! she came over and said "Hi Max, are you being good today? I'll come play with you in a minute."
Then she took Houston out of his pasture. I was shocked. Hey, she's MY person NOT yours!! Houston looked apologetic, but next time I get the chance, I think I'll bite him.
Then I hear Mom coming out of the barn. well she comes out with Houston all tacked up and wearing MY saddle pad!!! he's definitely getting bitten. I mean hey, next he'll probably be wearing my bridle! HOW am I going to wear my bridle and gasp! put my bit in my mouth knowing that he's been there!

*this won't happen. Max's saddle, yes, but not his bit. wait till Max sees him wearing HIS saddle! :) *

they went into the indoor together and I listened all I could and you won't believe this. I heard her say "good boy"! GOOD BOY. that's mine too! she's not allowed to say that to other horses! I even heard her cheer! OH NO they had a good lesson! well fine.
then Mom and the interloper come back. Mom says "hey little buddy, I'll be there in a minute." She's grinning from ear to ear. Aunt Diane is telling her what a good job they did and what a good boy Houston is. then, oh sorrow, I hear a carrot snap. then she took the stupid bird horse to his pasture.
Mom did finally come to get me. I walked really slow and sad like. then she groomed me and curried all the shedding hair off of me. I had to make sure she still loves me so I nibbled her elbow and stared intently into her eyes. she said "oh little monkey I love you. You're my good boy" then she kissed my muzzle and shared breath with me. I even got my peppermint cookies. I guess this wasn't such a bad day after all.

I'm a BAAAD monkey!

2008-02-11T19:16:00.001-08:00

this is dog who lies in paths. mom says he's my big brother. I say he's a wolf. he's ok for a wolf though. he just walks around and looks worried. I like to follow him around and poke him in the butt. that makes him very worried. well since the humans have incarcerated me I decided to entertain myself. dog who lies in paths came to my barn with mom the other day and I followed his butt around like usual, but this time I bit it! HAH HAH what a good trick! Mom got mad though. real mad. said something about being nice, he's an old man, yadda yadda yadda. I don't remember. but hey, I get points with the other horses cause I bit a wolf!!!

I didn't bite him hard, I just bit him enough to make him worry. so all you dogs lying in paths activists can just get off my back ok? I'm already imprisoned after all! Gah, you'd think I'd bitten a wolf or something!

I bit a WOOOOLF! I bit a WOOOOLF! neener neener neener, I bit a WOOOOLF!

stall rest

2008-02-05T17:19:00.000-08:00

well the humans have decided to coop me up in my stall. the weather has been warm, the grass is coming back and they won't let me out! It's all that vet's fault. I was wrestling with Walter (a carthorse) and hurt my ankle again. well the vet man came and said that the people had to lock me up. I don't know how long my sentence is, but it hasn't been too bad. Mom comes every day and loves on me and grooms me and scratches all my favorite spots. then she puts boots on my front legs and walks me around to eat the clovers and fescues. (the vet man said to have the boots on all the time but I outsmarted him. I took off a boot and destroyed it. now I only have to wear them when I go out.) then we play with the magic thing. it's this green thing and when you kick it or push it with your nose grain comes out! it's really fun. almost as much fun as knocking over trash cans. almost.

Mom is also teaching me things. like "foot" and "wiggle your lip". lip wiggling is especially fun because you get cookies.

I have BIG strides!

2008-01-26T15:46:00.000-08:00

So the weather was cold, and I've been out of work after trying to kill myself again. So I decided to be a real pain the past couple of days. BUT somehow Mom's man got some good pictures of me. Who knew I could move so big! How do you like my tail? I had to lay in the mud just right to get that color!

I discover Heaven

2008-01-21T07:58:00.001-08:00

heaven is green grass in winter. I wanted to eat it all. Mom wouldn't let me. she kept moaning about colic something or other. most everything I wanna eat that she won't let me is because of that colic thing. Oh well, maybe we can go on another walk about to those back fields.

gah I was cute!!

2008-01-11T21:09:00.000-08:00

Man, was I cute or what??? these are some baby pictures mom nicked from my breeder's website http://www.royalviewfarm.com . they called me Coco, but now I'm Maximus the brave. (or mighty or magnificent, or whatever mood I'm in at the time)

I find my profession

2008-01-07T19:45:00.000-08:00

I want to be a farrier. I do not want to be a dressage horse. mom says that a Dressage horse is a honorable profession, but my passion lies in feet. My farrier has the most fascinating tools. he has snips and files and all sorts of wonderful things. I like to pick them up and figure them out. I like to watch him work. I want a pair of funny chaps too. Mom says that Farriers need thumbs, but John the Farrier says that I can be a farrier too. Mom says that everyone in my family were dressage horses, and that I'm going to be a dressage horse too. I say Phooey. Mom take me to Farrier school!

I loves big Women

2008-01-02T22:18:00.000-08:00

I love Hannah. oh she's so beautiful. she's big and red and has socks and a blaze and her hooves are so lovely and her booty is big and it's red too and her tail is long and her muzzle is so fine and her blaze is so big and white and perfect. sigh. once she let me sniff noses with her. made my life. I just like to watch her. I could watch her all day. I wish I could groom her. sigh.

*Max still has no idea that he's only 14.2. good luck reaching those withers in one piece little monkey, she's the boss mare. Even Ukon respects her. But Max has the biggest crush on her. he stands on tip toe and arches his neck, hoping she'll notice him.*

my BFF Bear

2007-12-30T22:30:00.001-08:00

This is my best friend Bear. He is a thoroughbred (idiot). we like to race each other. He calls me a name like shorty shorty big butt and then I have to chase him. if I catch him I bite him on the butt and call him names like Brainless little feet or witless scaredy mare (this insult is especially good cause he's a gelding).

*note from Aubern... Ok so the boys get to galloping. Bear, being off the track, is usually about eight lengths ahead of Max. Max is hilarious, he goes tearing across the pasture. His short little legs a flying, tail flagging and ears to the sky. He's convinced that he's just as fast as his Bear. He doesn't realize that his lovely Baroque body wasn't made for speed!*

Bear and I have decided to hate things. like Ukon. Ukon thinks he's the Mare's whinny. Just because he's 17.3 and Dutch. I once told him that he wasn't the Mare's whinny because his people were pulling carts when mine were performing for kings. you know what he did? He kicked ME! I the greatest horse in the barn! Mom and Aunt Diane *the barn owner* said I deserved it. I say He's still a carthorse! Bear hates him because he has two big white stockings and a blaze. Bear and I are very proud of our socks. I have 2 and a half, and bear has only one. but I have a star too, so I'm better than Bear. but Mom says one day I'll be ALL white, and then I'll be even better than Ukon!!

we also hate guns, an idiot redneck (as Mom called him) got one for Christmas, and Bear and I had to spook alot and be twits because he had the nerve to go shooting behind My farm!

Bear says we should also hate Dogs Lying in Paths but I don't know about that. Bear also thinks that we should hate Kicks even more than Ukon but I like Kicks. He lets me win races and he is nice to groom with. he doesn't always get to come out with us, but I like it when he does. But I sometimes have to bite him.

Merry Christmas!!

2007-12-24T11:34:00.001-08:00

Max on Monsters

2007-12-19T19:14:00.000-08:00

Why do I hate birds? Well because they're flesh eating flying monsters is why! they jump up behind you and if you're not quick on your hooves they'll land on your back and suck your blood. I'm sure of it.

other horse eating monsters..
the outdoor dressage ring. Those bushes and gazebo will jump out at you!

My saddle. If you don't scoot around and act like a twit it will land on your back and then you'll have to work. also remember to blow your belly out real big to keep the saddle from having a death grip on your breathy bits.

when my saddle is loose. that sneaky thing, once I start breathing again it wants to go and slide around! MOOOOM!

for a while the indoor wash stall. I was convinced that horses die of exposure to this mysterious thing every day. I'm still alive though, so maybe it's not so bad.

water in my face. I will drown. that water snake is vicious!

Clippers. clippers kill. I heard that this one horse was standing in his stall innocently eating hay and this pair of clippers snuck up on him and sucked ALL his blood. Honest! One time a pair of clippers attacked me and ate most of my muzzle whiskers. I barely escaped with my life.

the laser beams in the indoor arena. there are these bright laser beams of DEATH that sometimes come in the indoor. you have to watch them closely and walk around them. if you step over them they will cut your legs off.

Hi! I'm Max!

2007-12-19T08:51:00.000-08:00

ok so I have my own blog now. I don't know what a blog is, I hope it's something I can eat.

Here's a bit about me. I was born in New Hampshire in August. My Dam is the beautiful flea bitten gray Sabella. My sire, the dashingly handsome Siglavy Malina. I am Siglavy Sabella, a Lipizzaner, a horse of kings, their mighty steed. my ancestors were dancers and warriors. At least that's what I've been trying to tell my barn mates ever since my arrival at this barn, just before my fourth birthday. They call me small. sure, I'm not 17 hands high, but they're not an imperial horse! I have to levade often to keep them in awe of me. They're just a bunch of carthorses *warmbloods* and idiots *Thoroughbreds*. who are they to say what's what? Sure I'm the youngest horse in the barn, but that doesn't mean they shouldn't kneel before my wonderfulness. Conceited? Me? nah. I just know that I'm the best horse ever!

My mom is helping me type this, I wanted to do it myself, but she says that it not only requires thumbs, but fingers too. Bah. and she says "besides, horses can't spell!" shows what she knows. My grandfathers were Haute Ecole horses! That's High School. That means horses CAN spell.

And little does she know, but I've been busy working on my thesis on the habits of deer and turkeys, and it's really coming along. I recently wrote a couple of pages about a doe that went bounding and jumping across the dressage ring. I didn't know they did dressage too! I had to watch her intently to make sure my thesis would be right.

I'll write more later, I've gotta visit with my mom!